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Grieving Mother Objects to Cemetery Policy

It is common, in cemeteries across the world, for family members and friends of the deceased to decorate tombstones and gravesites with flowers, figurines and countless other items. This practice allows the loved ones to stay connected to the deceased and it also provides them with an opportunity to celebrate their life. However, one mother in Knoxville, Tennessee was shocked to discover that the mementos and figurines that had decorated her son’s gravesite had been removed. Katie Helms frequents New Gray cemetery in northwest Knoxville to see her deceased son of nine years; often times she brings her grandson, who never had the opportunity to meet his deceased uncle.

New Gray Cemetery came under new management in the previous year and with that new management came a new decoration policy. Following the current trend, the new decoration policy placed a limit on what items could be left on the gravesites. Co-owner Kim Bridges stated that the reason for the new policy is that there are currently 20,000 people buried in the cemetery. “It is important that we honor the lives of [every person buried here]”, said Bridges. “We do not allow Shepherd’s Hooks, nor do we allow figurines on the ground… to ensure a beautiful and safe environment for each family.” Title 46 of the Tennessee Statutory Code, titled Cemeteries, does not speak to decorating gravesites. This decision is left up to the discretion of the owners of each cemetery. There are some cemeteries that only allow floral decorations and they even place limits on those. However, some jurisdictions have passed laws preventing the government and cemetery owners from infringing on people’s religious freedom.

On one hand, as somebody who frequents cemeteries to visit loved ones, I understand Katie Helms’ perspective. Gravesites allow family members and friends to pay their respects and honor their deceased loved ones. These decorations show the deceased that they are not forgotten and that the ones close to them cherish their memory. However, as a professional I also understand the business necessity for keeping the gravesites clean and safe. Hopefully cemeteries and families of the deceased will be able to reach a solution that is amicable for both sides.

Michael Grace

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